SpringDaze

It truly is finally verging on spring here in the bleak midwest. Most of the trees are still bare, bu tthe grass is greening up nicely and occasionally the temperature hints at warmer things to come. However that is where the green-ness ends for me.
My bank account remains at levels purely dictated by the rise and fall of my bi-weekly checks coming in ....and going out. Is it just me, or has food suddenly become the new "coin of the realm"? It's like there must be gold on the grocery store shelves--for all of the money it takes out of my purse everytime I go shopping!

As you can see--even my dog is overwhelmed by the prospects. She's cuddling with long-time pal Snoopy--who, bless his heart always maintains a stiff upper lip. (He's my hero.)

Even the daffodils along my front walk are wishing I could spend more money on them....I think they need nitrogen...they're just not blooming properly. Thankfully, I did invest in a few "lookalike yellow and white coneflowers" and tried to artfully arrange them on my mantel to profess the nearness of summertime. THey kindof do the trick--I feelmy spirits lift ever so slightly when I enter the room ; )

Next step....maneuvering the puddles of dating and disclosure. How much do you say about how insolvent one is as you negotiate potential new relationships?
Hmmmm. Jury's out on this one.

Anyway, still wishing for true springtime optimism....I guess that's a step.
Suzette

The Big BANKruptcy THEORY

Yes, this is not actually a photo of a BANK or a Bankruptcy of course - because that would involve photos of unpleasant people with lawyers all around and stacks of paper evidence and pinched expressions.
This IS a photo of a teeny-tiny person "walking" over cottony stuff meant to imply snow around a little Christmas village in my living room. I don't know if this little man is bankrupt or not --but he's out there enjoying the "snow" so God bless him anyway, I say.

It's the Big B officially. Practically hours after my birthday, a day or two away from Black Friday (coincidentally enough, wouldn't you say?!) and just within vision of all of the holiday revelry and overspending....I signed and initialled till my fingers were numb...the documents (about 30, I think) to officially push the giant Bankruptcy ball rolling down the legal mountain.

Everyone tells you with arched eyebrows and quick, blinking eye movements, that "it's a clean slate, you're getting!" Okay...is that why I feel so elated?!
Yeah...that's what I thought. Just what does "the clean slate" mean and why are people who probably have actually used fewer than 10 blackboards in their lifetimes using this phrase?! I mean, when you die you get a "clean slate" too, right?

It's depressing..."It's the hap,happiest time of the year..." unless you have NADA credit cards, zippo high spirits and the prospect of "more of the same" for the foreseeable future.

There MUST be a Bright SIde!
Let's see-- ohYES!! The Morgan Chaseme Hounds and the National CIty VIpers can't hassle me anymore---well THERE's a silver lining!

Next initiative: Create a local barter/exchange system by which I can obtain groceries, clothes, car services and salon-quality hair services for whatever skills I can offer that are moral and legal. Hmmmm..

Tune in next week!

Slightly Less Crazy Suzette

Credit Time Out

I wondered if this day would come.
I valiantly perservered, (albeit with liberal outlays of cash from my significant other---who now wishes to NOT be of that significance anymore....sigh....)still, I scrimped many a month.
I resisted dinners and lunches out to the point of compulsiveness...even now, I wonder if people would pause in shock if I suggested a "lunch out" at work!
But it's come down to the "Big B".

BANKRUPTCY

There. I said it.
Even more...I'm doing it. Seen the lawyer. Had the chat. Crunched the numbers.
It's all there in black and white....'Tis better to file and give up than to continue to fight the losing, depressing, eternal fight with the credit sharks and the ex-husband's bad debt.'

I'm exhausted.

So what was the point of the past two years' struggle, I ask myself?
If I was going to give up after all(which, of course I wasn't planning to do until the knock out punch was delivered in the 9th round!)

It's not over yet...no point in getting overly optimistic.
The details are in the nitty gritty lawyerese of it all: Chapter 7 vs. Chapter 13.

I'd wring my hands...but ....well, I'm just not a hand-wringer, I guess. I'm more of a go to bed early--watch too much TV and try uselessly to sleep and forget...and hope that morning brings a happier perspective.

Though I'm not really holding out much hope....not yet anyway.

I'm just clueless enough, though to imagine maybe - just maybe - things will get a little bit better in the here and now. I figure all in all - what's the point of worrying about credit scores...when mine is already awful? Right?

One bill at a time.....
Here we go, kids.

Suzette