Say Goodbye to the Plastic

Buh-bye, credit cards!! I mentally wave my fingers in the direction of the credit cards being snipped apart ceremoniously into the giant fish tank n the Credit Rehab Lady's office. My plastic bits join a small mountain of its relatives from the hundreds of credit rehabbers who have traveled this path before me. (Sniff-sniff, small tear rolls down my cheek...big sigh)

OK - moving on, now.
In my head I hear a David Bowie song....
"Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes (Don't want to be a better man) Ch-Ch-Changes (Just gonna be a different man.) I still don't know what I was waiting for...and my time was running wild."

It was sort of a therapy-meets-financial-planner session. I laid out my sordid "confession of fnancial errors" as it were, and she patiently nodded, didn't raise her eyebrows or say anything like, "Good grief, you're kidding, right?!" (How mortifying would that be, right?)
She even had tissues handy...I guess a lot of us get weepy as we unburden ourselves about our debt-filled lives.

So after "the credit confession", she tallies it all up (pretty scary couple of moments there, I'll tell you). "We'll contact all of these companies and try to get the interest rates lowered, and set up a regular date they'll get monthly payment." Sounds really doable, at this point - followed by...
"It looks like if we get some good interest rates (at least half of the 29.99999 I'm futilely attempting to keep up with presently) you can pay all of this off in about (pause) 5 years."

SILENCE.

What?!? I thought maybe some of the debt could just be downsized! Nope. No chance of that, missy!

SHIT.

OK. Well, I guess it beats the paycheck shuffle I've been dancing for the past couple of years....so, ok.

To their credit (get it?) they collect a very small fee, and then a pittance sum (about $20 per month) for the life of this payback process for their trouble. (I imagine the credit card companies give them a slice of something - but I don't know for sure...whatever...who cares.)

So I sign on the dotted line and agree to revisit the Credit Rehab Lady at least once a year to review our progress....like in case I win the lottery or something and can afford to pay the Chaseme Hounds $1,200 a month instead of $85, right?!

So I'm good to go....I still have a mountain of debt - but I've got the Rehab Lady in my corner and things don't seem quite so unwieldy. (Though I still dream of winning the lottery and erasing all debt in a single day - I can at least sleep mostly through the night after this meeting - a "first" for a very long time!.)

Check back later...there's more.

Suzette

CardSharks

Every day is a CardShark Day.

The "fins" arrive via cell phone tower, though - I don't actually (thankfully!) see them circling me in the parking lot at work!

Currently, JP Morgan ChaseMe Shark is the major predator.
First, how can anyone work for this company in good conscience? Trust me, these people's tongues must be SO forked - they look like snakes when they speak.
At least a dozen times a day - their auto-system dials my phone number to hassle me with the same questions, I've already answered...

Why the harrassment? Simple:
One missed payment to the credit counseling company. Never mind that it was predicated by an unexpected (aren't they all?) vehicle death. This was my one and only choice for transportation in my daily hour-long commute. All finances went into "shock and reponse mode"!

The Credit gal (Rehab central) was very helpful and to the point."You gotta put your money where it's needed the most. We'll alert your creditors and explain what has happened....but we'll have to wait and see...sometimes they will make us re-negotiate your interest rate. "

AAAaHaa. Ok, I tell myself - maybe this will still work out. A generous helping of cash from my boyfriend helped put me back on the path to a replacement car. But I still had to come up with a new financing plan - Hah! (guess how high THAT interest was for "ye of little credit"! )

So where is this leading?

"Jenny, don't change your number...I need to make you mine. 8-6-7-5-3-0-9; 8-6-7-5-3-0-9"
( Tommy Tutone)

The Phone Calls.
They don't start, mind you until about 6 months later.
In the meantime, the CHASEme Hounds have surrepticiously disengaged from the credit company and lower interest rate agreement - but they haven't told me this.Many months later, I get a nasty letter (you know the kind...worded like they're oh-so-willing-to-work-with-you!) that tells me I am completely delinquent, I need to pay them 3 times the amount the credit company is divvying out to them each month...and oh, by the way - every month they add in an extra $39 finance charge for not meeting the minimum payment! Bastards@!

How does this end?
Tune in...I don't even know yet.
More finance fun later!

Suzette

Credit Rehab

I know I'm not the only one.
Okay, wait. First some background...before you assume I'm some goofus ditz who just la-la-la, spends-spends-spends....sure I love to shop - but I've also been the major breadwinner, managed all the travels and vacations, bought the kids Easter outfits, gifts, replaced the outgrown wardrobes - shoes, jeans..etc. (I'm not some Tiffany junkie - let's get that straight!)

So I exit a marriage after twenty-something years with a lot of debt.....two very promising offspring who are college fledglings, no house (that went to the ex), and no savings.

I rent, right? Well sure - no one is going to give me a loan with my crummy credit!
What's next? Deal with reality!
Why?
Because: I AM NOT A QUITTER!
(read: bankruptcy is just not an option in my mind.)

I'll just go on the record here as saying....credit floundering is not for the faint of heart! And credit rehab is no picnic either.
Future tales will come.

For now - take my advice - Don't spend it if you ain't got it.

Suzette